DAY 30: "I'm Not Handicapped" by Christian Williams

DAY THIRTY: "I'm Not Handicapped" by Christian Williams

Today, as Rob Sevilla read the scriptures, I found myself feeling sorry for the crippled lamb, mainly because he wasn’t the “right” kind of sacrifice. A crippled lamb should not be considered a good offering. I know that, but it doesn’t seem fair. I thought, “Hey, he can’t help that he can’t walk!” I know most people feel sorry for the spotless one that is sacrificed. I, however, can relate to the cripple.

Many of you know that I was diagnosed with a rare eye disease at age 19. Prior to that time, I did things just like everyone else. I really struggled with the “handicapped” label. The truth is, I needed some help because I was a sophomore in college and my detail vision had diminished greatly. As a result, I had trouble reading small print. Student services let me take tests in a nice quiet room. They would enlarge the print for me and give me unlimited time to finish. Richard Carley, my case worker, looked me in the eye one day and said “I know you don’t like it, but you are going to have to face the fact that you are handicapped.” I was so upset that I couldn’t stop shaking. Sometimes truth not only hurts, it makes you angry.

The truth is we are all handicapped, broken. I am broken physically, but my mind and heart are broken as well. I have prideful, selfish tendencies that God cannot fix in me because I don’t really want Him to. I don’t really want to see these imperfections. Talk about blind! Honestly, it would be easier for God to fix my physical blindness than my spiritual blindness. I get in the way of the latter. God calls us to be “living sacrifices” but we aren’t worthy of that fate.

Our brokenness makes us just like that lamb, limping along trying to keep up with the Master’s voice. He would carry us if we really wanted Him to. But sometimes we’d rather cross our arms and say, “I’ve got this. I’m not handicapped!”

I have come to realize that the “h” word is not so bad. It just means that I need some help once in a while. God has used this in my life to teach me dependence on Him and others. We have this miracle called the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of our bodies. He has set up residence in very close proximity, so close that we could easily fall in sync with Him.

When God shows us the truth about ourselves, it is as if the scales fall from our eyes. He gives us true sight. But the Spirit cannot do what we will not allow. So let’s get real with ourselves. Let’s be real with one another. Let’s thank God for grace that loves us beyond our imperfections!

My prayer for Trace Crossing:
Holy Spirit show me the truth. Help us all see the truth. And then help us move with perspective and passion for you. Remind us that we are truly handicapped without your help. Amen.